The Outlook?

I met up with some of my homies in town. We quickly decided that we needed beer, so we called up this weird guy who gave us his number and told us he'd deliver alcohol.

We called him up, and he brought us a sixteen pack of Canadian Cold Shots. We got into our buddy's car and drove to the airport, then crept along the fence until we got to this killer spot behind the grounds.

We cracked some beers while we waited for some more buddies. We sat down at a picnic table with a perfect view off of the cliff we'd walked to. There was a massive, unkempt field divided by a gigantic stream that flowed quickly down towards the mountains.

We slid down the mountain, managing to drink our beers on the way, and found a massive log that let us across the river. We scrapped in the field and ventured over to some strange field that looked an old grow-op. Our buddies showed up around now though, so we drunkenly tried to make a bridge to cross the river and most of my buddies got soaked trying to cross it.

We hauled ourselves up the cliff, earning a lot of bruises on the way, then chilled at the table, smoked some joints, and finished our beers.

After he'd finished drinking, my buddy drunkenly attempted to balance on a stump overlooking the cliff. He started to brag, and then slipped and fell 40 feet down the hill. He managed to pull himself up, bleeding and bruised, and we all laughed hard.

Eventually he got so hammered that he picked up the picnic table we were chilling at, and vaulted it off the cliff. It shattered into a dozen pieces, so we all just headed out. I went back to my place with a buddy and ripped some tokes.

A night on the playa

Burning Man '08--

I woke up in our RV at about 3 PM - hungover, naturally. The sweltering desert heat didn't really bother me as I managed to stumble out of bed and whip up some munch. I headed over to our neighbour's place, anxious to start a new day in the desert.

They had a hookah set up - one with eight hoses. They were packing bowls of sheesha and chronic (though it was some very bunk American chronic, mind you.) We all got pretty ripped, then decided to head out onto the main strip.

We cruised around checking out the craziness that could be seen - a massive mechanical hand that changed when you put yours into a mold, a 30-foot tall giant milk carton, a two hundred foot temple constructed entirely of wood. It was endless.

Finally the sun set below the mountains in the distance and the desert was instantly cast into darkness. We knew it was time to get our drank on. This guy called to us from a bar, and we headed over, stoked. He mentioned free alcohol, but then checked his watch - the bar was still closed. He walked off, but I shouted to this other bartender "do you still have free liquor?!"

She let us in through the back door and onto the dance floor before anyone showed up. She poured us some shots of some glowing drink, which started our buzz. We partied for a bit, then left, onto the next bar.

We made stops at the dozens of different bars around the main strip, meeting all the drunken bartenders and partying it up. The drinks were all served free - money isn't used on the Playa. After that, we decided to hop onto one of the mobile bars - in this case, a giant duck that shot lazers, converted into a 2 story open bar. We took some shots on there while it drove us across the desert and stepped off in front of a massive club that was blasting intense music.

On the way there we saw three guys biking around in circles stark naked. They all weighed about three hundred pounds, and were talking about when they lost their virginity. Only at Burning Man. . .


We stepped in and busted out hard while being nearly deafened and blinded by the lights and music. The bass was vibrating the entire desert floor. We were drunk as fuck for the mostpart though, and didn't really care. Soon after though a massive clubbing session, though, one of the dust storms started up.

I'd forgotten my goggles and saw little shelter around me. As the dust really picked up, I found myself unable to see even feet in front of me. I jumped into the only shelter I could find - an outhouse. Dust even flew in through the vents, though, so I left and stumbled around blindly until I managed to find my RV. I made it in, poured another drink, and then passed out, ready for another day of insanity.

The Heinekeg

I woke up to a beautiful spring day and decided that this was the day to purchase my first Heinekeg.

I went up town and met some buddies and we took the bus to our neighbouring town. Once at one of the malls there, we met up with a buddy, gave him the money, and he went to grab us our keg. We went out and christened it, right as a few of our buddies walked up, and we all chilled for a bit.

Finally, we got onto the bus to the city. We went into the mall and cruised around for a bit, then headed out to our beer drinking spot across the highway. We busted out our speakers and vibed with these girls until the beer was gone, then headed back to the mall.

On the way there we ran into about twenty people who were all fucked out of their minds on blow. Three of them came up to us and started jittering about some party they were supposed to be having, but he was too fucked up to keep a sentence going. They all looked like they were about to shank us, too. Regardless, I got the guy's number - he called himself 'Easter Bunny' and didn't seem to find that strange.

We went back into the mall and got kicked out of a bunch of stores for drunkenly trying to pinch stuff, then headed out to wait for the bus again. We took a few puffs, then got on. The cokehead who called himself Easter Bunny got on in front of us.

We talked to him for a bit, and found out that he'd just gotten out of jail for shooting someone twice in the leg. Right after this, he started busting up a huge line right on the bus, and told us that if we told anyone he'd get off at our stop and kill us. I dunno how he would have done that though - he didn't know what day it was or where he was, and we had to tell him where his stop was.

Anyways, we got off around my place and headed over to my neighbour's. It was his birthday so everyone had a case of beer, we were already drunk but we chilled and smoked some doobs. Eventually I headed back home, ripped a couple tokes, then passed out.

151 and the drunk tank. . . again?

Me and my buddies all hopped on the bus to the mall, and picked up our first beer bong. Before that, we'd grabbed a case of high-percentage beer, and since we'd already slammed a few, we chugged the rest in the beer bong.

We got an intense buzz and managed to avoid security enough. We ran into this girl who decided she'd come back to our buddy's place with us, so we got on to the bus back and headed over there.

Once we got there, his dad pulled out a 26 and sent it into rotation. We finished it really quick, and before we knew it, everyone was shouting and stumbling around the house, making more noise than the dogs were. His dad shouted out, asking if we had any money. We managed to pull out another 20 bucks, so he pitched the other 20 and grabbed us a bottle of 151.

We got the bottle and I quickly started pouring drinks. Most of them were straight 151. My memory phased out quickly and I hardly remember finishing the bottle. I have vague memories of feeling a desperate need to rip bong hoots, and setting out to do that - yet I only remember waking up in my ski boots on the cold, cement floor of the drunk tank, with horrible cramps.

I lay there painfully for a couple hours before they let me out, and I realized that they'd jacked my jamaican toque i'd got at the mall. That sucked. They sent me out and I walked back to my buddy's place to get the shit that I'd left there. It was a long walk and the boots chafed my shins until they were bleeding.

I got there, still quite drunk, and stumbled upstairs. My one buddy and the girl were there, the rest had left. They still seemed pretty drunk too, and we reminisced before I grabbed my stuff (including a giant plastic santa statue i didn't remember getting) and started to head home.

It took another painful, hungover hour to get home, and when I finally got there, I crashed hard. I woke up a few hours later and managed to head to work.

ballin' hard

Me and my buddy Jones were mishing to town on one of the few nice days we'd seen in the year. On the way, we saw a car for sale for $500. We asked the guy about it, and he showed us that it ran fine, so we walked to Jones' work to borrow five hundred from the register.

So we went back to the guy, gave him $500 cash, picked up some buddies in the car then parked it outside my place. We chilled for a bit, then drove down to the liquor store to meet our boot.

We got a sixteen case of hard beer between three of us, so we knew we'd be hammered. Force 8s do the job. We chilled at our buddy's place for a while and slammed a couple brews. When we had a buzz on, we decided to call a taxi as our last resort to getting to our buddy's party.

On the way to town square I gave the guy who owned the corner store five bucks, and he said he'd let me back in again. That was dope. I saw a bunch more of our homies just as the taxi arrived and had to peace before we all got to vibe.

I was stoked though, because the party was pretty fat. A few dozen people were all drinking around a massive fire, ripping bong tokes.

This one kid was incredibly wasted and being a goof, so this other kid pissed in his water bottle. The idiot was too drunk to realize he was drinking piss all night. Eventually he pissed his own pants and passed out on the dirt in front of the fire.

Everyone got pretty hammered, as the hours passed on people got louder and louder until things began to start dying down. People began passing around more joints and chilling, but there were still a crew of hammered people clubbing it up on the outdoor dance floor.

I peaced back home with a couple of my homies, and we all ripped some more tokes. We got incredibly chied and eventually, just passed out.

more than twenty-six 26s later. . .

I was vibing at work, waiting for a taxi, but after an hour they hadn't showed up. I began to walk down the highway, hoping I'd meet them, but they still never showed so I just stuck out my thumb to hitchhike. The first car that drove by picked me up, so I jumped in.

Some crazy christian was driving, and the whole ride he preached about Jesus. He had some tasty cookies he hooked up though, so it was chill.

He dropped me off pretty close to the party and I slammed two beer on the way there. It was new years eve, so I was in a rush - it was already 11:50. I quickened my pace and got to the house at 11:55. I knew that the liquor wouldn't all be gone - I'd gotten more than twenty bottles for the party, and everyone was bringing their own booze as well.

I opened the door and was instantly swarmed by 15 people, already buzzing hard or drunk. I had to push through the crew of LGs giving me hugs, and when I met up with my buddy in the kitchen where the liquor was, it struck midnight. I screamed HAPPY MOTHERFUCKING NEW YEARS, picked up one of the dozens of 26s and slammed a quarter of it.

The guy who's house it was had already passed out, so we tried to wake him up by shouting at him and giving him beats. Somehow, in his unconscious state on the couch, he still managed to flail and punch one of the girls in the face. Harsh, but absolutely hilarious. Me and my one buddy picked up this huge plastic statue and domed him with it, but he still stayed passed out.


The night progressed rather quickly and by five in the morning, mostly everyone had passed out or left. I'd been the last to arrive, though, and I was still hammered off at least a 26 and a six pack, so I just vibed, stumbling around the house, waking everyone up by busting freestyles. At 6 AM, me and my homie decided to grab a taxi home, so we peaced.

the po-po crackin' down for candy

I started heading up town on the first sunny day in ages. I ran into my buddy outside of the high school in town, then we headed up to town square. There were more people there than I'd seen in ages - surely a good sign for the night.

We went to go search for a boot, and saw this native lady who'd gotten us liquor before. We followed her out of the grocery store and asked her, and her husband ended up getting us a shitload of beer. He also gave us his number, and told us that he'd deliver liquor to us anywhere. Prime.

So we headed up to the park. We went into the room we'd opened up by smashing the dugout doors before, seeing as they still hadn't replaced it, and busted out our new beer bong. We ripped a few of them, adding shots from my buddy's 26 to spice them up, until these two other homies walked up and smoked a fat doob with us. They told us there were more people at the BMX track, so we got a hella buzz and headed up there.

We heard some drunken shouting from somewhere inside the bush, so we mished into the forest and found a bunch of our homies with two 40 pounders. We all got crunk and tried to make a huge fire with no success, so we smoked a joint and peaced.

I went down to the corner store, and upon noticing that the manager wasn't there and that I was starving, I quickly grabbed two massive handfuls of the 5c candies and shoved them into my pockets. On the way out I grabbed 3 fat chocolate eggs. We munched these behind the post office while we fucked shit up, then went to QF and grabbed a bunch of sushi. Tasty.

We decided we needed more liquor, so we gave fifteen bucks to this guy Steve. He booked it to the 'liquor store' and never showed up, so he's gettin' beefed next time we see him. Anyways, when we decided we were going to go home, the cops rolled up.

Some fat cop stepped out and started shouting my name, and threw me onto the hood of the car. I beaked him for being racist and demanded that he bow down to my black rights, which didn't make him any happier. He drove me up to the corner store and made me talk to the manager, who informed me that I'm banned, and then he wouldn't even hook up a ride home. I was choked, so I ate one of the chocolate eggs in front of the store before I peaced.

I ran to catch up with my buddies, then we all headed back towards our places. A couple buddies came over to my place and we ripped some tokes, then I passed out.

camping with the beer bong

I woke up and got a huge arcade machine delivered to my house. I paid the dude exactly $420, then my buddies showed up. We decided to get a new beer bong so we peaced out and grabbed the bus to Nanaimo, where we knew there was a store that sold destroyer beer bongs.

We got there, got the beer bong, and got a 15 case of Kokanee. We booked it across the highway to mish into this fort up on the mountain, but these crackheads were all partying there so we decided to vibe just off some little trail.

We drank the 15 case in under twenty minutes. My stomach felt like it was about to explode, and I was already a little drunk, but we decided we needed more beer. We headed back towards the mall and cruised around inside until we saw these two girls. We asked them to grab us another 15 case, and we waited outside for it.

When they showed up, the girl passed me the 15 case and I walked three steps before a cop car rolled up. The cop got out and started shouting at me, then jacked the 15 case and kept beaking us. He admitted that he got off on fucking over kids' nights, then he peaced out. Fat motherfucker.

We met up with the girls again and cruised the mall for a while before we got on the bus back. We vibed in the bus, freestyling and blasting beats, then got off and headed towards this camp site. We walked across the train tressel, which was sketchy as fuck in the pitch black, then arrived at the fire. There were a few tents and about 30 kids there.

We busted out our beer bong and everyone started hitting it, soon enough everyone was plastered. My buddy wanted to deuce a mickey with me in the bong (it was a 2-hoser) so he poured it in. It was dark as fuck, so we couldn't tell that all the vodka went into my tube. I slammed it all, almost puked, then stumbled around in a drunken haze for a while. After a few hours of drinking and smoking, me and my buddy caught a taxi home.

back in the dazed days

We arrived at my buddy's place for his party. We all had our liquor already, I had three 40s of beer. I was stoked.

We vibed in his living room for a bit, blasting tunes and ripping bong tokes, until he got a call from his stepdad (who owned the house.) Apparently, he wasn't allowed to have anyone over. Regardless, we stayed.

Eventually his stepdad showed up. He stood about 6'5 and looked like he weighed more than a cement truck, and he told us to all get the fuck out. Our buddy stayed in to 'talk' with him.

We sat in his yard out of sight, sipping our alcohol, waiting on the outcome. Eventually the voices inside escalated to shouting and finally we heard a huge SMACK. Buddy ran out of the house with his hand covered in blood and told us all we needed to get the fuck out, quick. As we turned to leave, we heard his dad shout "I'M SENDING A FUCKING CREW AFTER YOU, KID. YOU WON'T LIVE TO SEE TOMORROW." We all booked over the fence and sprinted across the town to this huge suspension bridge.

Our buddy, somewhat sketched out for his life, slammed a half a two six quickly. I downed a couple of my 40s under the bridge, and when the sun went down, we risked heading back to his place. His dad was gone, so everyone got hammered and tore the fuck out of the place.

After we'd destroyed the house we headed over to the gas station. I hadn't been in on it, but my buddy, the one who'd smashed his dad, had decided to jack it up. Drunk as fuck and pissed off, he ran in with a knife and demanded all their smokes. He looted up a garbage bag full and peaced the fuck out. We followed him, and everyone earned themselves a couple packs of smokes or cigars.

We vibed in the dark for a bit, making sure to avoid the slew of cops that were cruising around town, and everyone finished off their liquor and chronic. After that, me and another buddy just hitched a ride to this girl's place and vibed there, smoking our free smokes.

Chillin' in the prickles?

I got a ride to my work and picked up my paycheck, then ran all the way up town and cashed it.

Now that I had some cash, I decided to meet up with my buddy Jones. We ran into this other kid, too, who I don't really like that much.

We hunted for a boot for a bit, then ran into my mom. It took a while to convince her, but finally she agreed to get us our liquor.

Me and Jones got our beer, the other kid got his two six. We shotgunned some beers behind the pool, then busted into the dog park and took slams there. Having a good buzz, we went back to the pool and saw a group of kids chilling. We hung out with them for a bit, then peaced to the playground.

I busted out my skate on the playground and we vibed, shotgunning beers and watching the other kid get hammered as fuck. Two girls showed up and decided to chill and watch us get drunk. I can't imagine why they didn't join in, they were sober as shit on a friday.

Anyway, Jones pissed all over one of the slides, and the drunk kid decided he'd try to walk up it after. He slipped, and ended up sliding face-down through Jones' piss. He threw out his hoodie and smashed the 26 in anger while me and Jones were shitting ourselves laughing.

We wandered over to the dugout, and found that they'd replaced the door we smashed before with a reinforced steel one. We knew that nothing could stop us, though, so we stomped it in. It took a lot longer this time. Anyway, we went in and looted it, harvesting all these weird bats and a bunch of boxing gloves. I jacked up this huge metal lawnmower thing and tried to bomb around on it, but it dyked out.

Jones peaced when I had a pretty good buzz on and I heard there was a party at the BMX track. I started heading that way, the other kid couldn't walk straight so the two girls decided to look after him.

As soon as I got to the BMX track people started handing me ciders. Fat. There was a huge fire going and a bunch of homies all chilling; some of them had beef with the kid I'd been with before. He's pretty fucking annoying, so I gave him a call and told him to come up to the BMX track.

A bunch of the kids there all surrounded him when and one of them started throwing punches until he fell down into the bush. I felt kind of bad, but it was kind of amusing.

At that point I remembered I was supposed to be going snowboarding tomorrow and that the annoying kid was crashing at my place, so we decided to head 'er.

Walking along the path behind the school, the kid fucked up and managed to stumble into a ravine that was filled to the brim with thorn bushes. Every drunken step he took just sent him further in until he sat down. I told him to get out but he just sat there muttering drunkenly.

I went in to try and pull him out but I almost got stuck myself; after I actually managed to lift him a little he fell back even farther. I was bleeding like shit already so I started screaming at him to get the fuck up, but he started puking all over himself.

After about an hour of shouting at him, he finally actually attempted to get out. He stumble back onto the path just as I was about to leave him... We walked back to my place, his arms dripping with blood, and when we got there he passed out. I ripped some bong tokes, then passed out myself.

I woke up twice in the night because every time he got up to take a piss, he tripped and smashed headfirst into one of my tables. In the morning my mom decided she didn't want to take him snowboarding because he was still drunk, so we just kicked him out.

Whack nights.

Gettin' crunk at the mall

I met up with my buddy in town, then got on the bus where we found a bunch of our other friends.

We trekked to the mall and ran into some chill hippies we'd seen before. They took us to their car and sold us a fat five sack. We ran into another dope hippie and asked him to grab our liquor, and he said sure. He gave us his car key as collateral for our money, so we flashed it around to a bunch of other kids and now a bunch of our friends all think we've got a car stashed two towns away :P

Anyway he brought our liquor back to his car. We quickly shoved the two 15 cases and the mickey into our backpacks; he was driving away and we didn't want the mall cops to see us. One of us scoped us out through the window as soon as he sped off though so we had to run to the other side of the mall.

So we got up on the roof and all shotgunned some beer. We ran into a couple other groups of kids smoking weed and we all got cheeched as fuck. It started to get cold though, so we stumbled through the store and went to the family washroom, which is more of a lobby than anything. There's a huge leather chair and a fat table.

We shotgunned some beers in there but a family started bashing on the door outside just as I was taking out my beer bong. My buddy picked up his sub and we all hustled out single file. The people outside were beaking us pretty hard but we just booked it.

We ended up behind this one store outside and I busted out my beer bong. We had some beats playing and we slammed back 20 of our beer in about half an hour.

As soon as we realized we were drunk as fuck, security showed up. Me and my one buddy grabbed our backpacks with the rest of the beer and peaced right the fuck out, but our other two homies stayed there and let my beer bong get jacked.

I was pissed (in more ways than one), so I burst into the Co-Op and tried to buy a pack of smokes. The jackass didn't let me though, so we called our other buddies and met up with them again. We stumbled around the mall until the bus showed up. We got on, all hammered, and enjoyed the pleasure of being able to scream and fuck around on a bus full of wasted teenagers.

Eventually we got back to my place and rolled up a huge fucking blunt, then passed right the fuck out.

Parksvillian times

I started off the morning moving a bunch of wood with my buddy Jonah. My mom paid him $20, which we used to aid our beer fund.

We took the bus to our neighbouring town to wait for our buddy. To pass the time, I pulled out my pocket knife and jacked up one of the signs from inside the library. I hid it in my backpack and we went outside to await our friend's bus.

She showed up, but she'd forgotten to ask her dad for a boot. Thus, we stood outside the bar for a while until about 20 kids showed up. My buddy bought some smokes and we trekked to another liquor store where we got a 26 and a bunch of beer.

We went to this killer little fort inside this forest and had a few slams there. We'd bought a huge sack of chips so we munched hard, too. Then we trekked to the playground to relive old times. We sat in this spider-webbed thing and I slammed a quarter of the 26; we all proceeded to get fucking hammed.

I spotted three people in the distance and we decided to go meet them. They turned out to be 3 really dope girls from down the island. We vibed with them for a bit, then went back up towards town. Our one buddy, pretending to be choked, walked the other way, and a cop pulled up and arrested her.

Me and my other buddy peaced out, and I bought a cigar from the gas station. We stumbled into my bank drunk as shit, puffing the cigar, and I tried to get another 20 bucks but the fucking machine ate my card. So we mished to McDonalds and waited for a taxi home.

I got home, munched, and, depressed that my night was over, seemed to have turned manic depressive - I punched myself in the head until I was unconscious on my couch.

Drunken idiocy, back in the day

I arrived in town, ready to head to a party.

When I heard how much liquor we were getting, I got excited and punched a tree so hard I broke my knuckle. Great start to the evening.

Finally we arrived at the party house. We pulled out the two sixes of 151, and I bet some kid twenty bucks that he couldn't slam a small glass full. He attempted and started puking everywhere. Damned kid got shot before he could pay me my 20 scrall.

Everyone got progressively hammered, and when the two sixes were done, me and my buddy just stood playing pass with them in the kitchen. I went into a bedroom and some kid hit me with a painting easel, so I picked up the closest thing - a hair straightener - and domed him with it.

I peaced back to the living room where one of my buddies was lying on the ground, coughing and gagging. Apparently he was having an asthma attack. This was all intensified due to the fact that the house, everything and everyone in it were all covered in the shiny shit from those lightup glow sticks. Quite whack to me.

Eventually a bunch of drama began to unfold and everyone started screaming. Some bitch got a huge rock from the road outside and brought it in to smash some other girl, but she just ran. I was told that eventually the girl who'd gotten the rock got into some guy's car and came back half an hour later with no clothes on.

I went back in, choked that the party had been destroyed by whack beef. I kept slamming from a 26, I can't remember what kind, and woke up passed out in the bathtub with a 10 inch breadknife and blood all over my leg.

Weird.

Infuriating the townspeople

I went up town and ran into a couple buddies, who I bought a fat doobie off. I was stoked already. I met my other buddies while heading to town square, and we debated where we were gonna get our beer for the night.

I looked across the street and saw this sketchy looking native. Instantly, I decided we should ask him to boot for us. He did, and we got our beer.

We went to the underground parking lot of the library and managed to slam half a beer before security showed. We booked it up the stairs and burst out the door, running out in front of traffic, each of us holding a half-full beer. We managed to get down the hills to the tracks before the security guy could get into his truck and find us.

We slammed some brews at the tracks, then went up to the dugouts and tagged them all. We saw the native guy hanging around so we went and talked to him for a bit, then headed down to QF. We saw some guy book it across the floor and jack up two huge bags of paper towels, then book it right back out of the store.

We met up with another buddy and mished over to the elementary school. One of the doors was open, so we ran in and grabbed this huge cow bean bag. While we were hauling it across the field some bitch came out and started screaming, so we stashed it under the bleachers and peaced. While we were walking, someone drove up to where we stashed it and shouted at us.

"YOU'D BETTER KEEP WALKING, FAGGOTS!"

"HOW THE FUCK DID YOU FIND THE BEAN BAG?!" I screamed back. They didn't answer, so we sprinted back to town square. We climbed onto the roof and tried to light some Draino we jacked from QF on fire, with no success. We slammed another beer up there when the security guy from before AND the people who saw us jack the bean bag drove up at the same time.

We jumped off and booked it back to the tracks; this time one of the cars managed to chase us. They screamed obscenities but we didn't pay attention, we were too busy hiding in the bushes drinking beer.

We were all sufficiently drunk now and decided to head over to this construction site, but on the way me and Buddy A noticed that the back door to this restaraunt was open. We ran in and all we could see were hundreds of burger buns, so we jacked a couple bags and sprinted over to the construction site where our other homies were. We chilled there for a while, munching and blazing, 'til we all headed home.

absurd hotbox

I went up town to look for a couple of my buddies, but I couldn't find them. I ran into some other friends instead. We cruised over to one of their places, and we ate all her oranges. Another buddy showed up, and soon after we walked into town and tried to find someone to grab us some liquor.

A few people pulled up in their car and handed us all some smokes. We gave them some money to get us some beer, and another buddy pulled up. We all got into his car and drove to the park. We hotboxed the shit out of it and then headed back to town square, but the other people hadn't got our liquor yet. Instead we all drove down to the beach.

Someone else showed up with their car, a pretty fuckin' small 2-door sedan. There were five people crowded into the back, one of them lying across the other five. We fit another six people in the front and between the driver's seat and the back; so it was so crowded we could hardly even pass the doobs or the pipe, but we still managed to hotbox the SHIT out of it. Finally we got our beer and went off to get crunk.

sesspool

i headed up town one bleak afternoon. even though there was some moonlight madness celebration bullshit going on, i just figured i'd o do nothing but burn out and munch all night until i peaced. fortunately (i think,) i ran into my buddy, who had two 60 pounders of rum.

a few of his homies and a few of mine all got fucking ridiculously hammered. after we chilled violently for a bit, we rioted up to the park where there were about twenty other kids our age. there were a bunch of fucked up adults who were drunk. at least. :s

me and my buddy jones smashed in the door of a dugout near the baseball fields, and ten of us flooded inside. we all grabbed metal pipes and baseball bats, then went out and smashed the rest of the doors. a few kids started beating on eachother, but we were just blazing near the first dugout.

a girl and this kid who's in jail now, were in the dugout, and he kicked the door at us and somehow it slanted sideways in so they were locked in, but we could see them a bit.. then they both started puking on eachother and passed out.

after that i pretty much blacked out, i kept taking slams until the sixties were gone. i've been told this is how the night rolled though.

some buddy shouted "PISS ON THEM!" and went and took a piss on the two passed out kids. there was a clear shot through the door. over the night at least seven of us all pissed on them, while they were lying in their own puke. it was a gnarly fucking sesspool of vomit and piss.

ugh. i hate thinking about it.

i hardly remember that though because the cops came up to me and arrested me. primarily because i'm black, i think. they gave me a quick ride to the drunk tank, but i beaked them. they had to wrestle me to the ground a couple times, and when i was trying to shove past them in the cell he tripped me and threw me into the cement outcropping that's supposed to be a bench. i woke up hungover as fuck.

walking home in the morning i cruised by the dugout just to see what it was like. there were beer cans everywhere and both of the sixties were sitting on top of the dugout. unbroken. it was beautiful.

when i checked the door, though, i found it was still jammed on a slant. through the bottom i could see that those two kids were still passed out in their own grease. realizing that, i noticed the whole place kind of stank, so i peaced out quick because i knew if i stuck around i'd end up getting more fucking puke on them.

just a day in the life.

dec. 27
i woke up at noon to a beautiful sunny day, despite the snow that was still two feet high outside. me and my buddies peaced out and shoveled a driveway, bought a couple joints with the money, and then smoked them while we shoveled this old guy's driveway. he paid us $45 and hooked up 3 huge bags of chocolate, so we took the money and bought a 40 pounder of rum. we downed that in a half hour and rolled a huge blunt, which we smoked while we watched the rest of our drunk homies destroy eachother with snowballs. then we rolled back to my place, slaying cars with balls of ice, and ripped hella bong tokes.

angry crackheads

dec.15
me and a few homies slammed a few lucky force 8s, which are unbelievably mangling, and proceeded to climb onto this bitch's shed. we brought a few small rocks with as and pelted them at the walls of her house. i turned around to pick up one last rock when i saw a massive figure bounding down the stairs of the apartment opposite us.
"let's get the fuck out of here, boys" i managed to hiss just as he reached the bottom of the stairs. i grabbed my skate and we all started booking it. eventually we were all separated, and not knowing where our pursuer had headed to and fearing for my friends' safety, i went to look for him. i found him in the town square with his shirt ripped off and an extremely furious crackhead screaming at him. i holstered my skate and walked up to them, and the crackhead backed off. he started screaming some shit about promising to shoot us each a few times if he ever saw us fucking around again, and then stumbled off in a tweaked haze.

streaking session

many days ago, walking home with a few of my friends, one of them suggested that we go streaking.
at first i disagreed, because the girls refused, but one of my friends had already jumped out of his clothes. (a little excited, now that i think about it.)
having a good ten or twelve beer in me, i figured it could do no harm, so i jumped out of my jeans and shirt, gave them to the girls, and started shouting at the top of my lungs (it was about 2 AM in a quiet neighbourhood.)
finally we decided that we needed to alert the residents that there were a bunch of drunken teenagers streaking throughout their neighbourhood, so we rang several doorbells. nobody answered.
when we turned to get our clothes, we found that the girls had disappeared. at this point, we were stuck in below zero weather in the early hours of the morning, with no clothes. we ran around the block several times, shouting our displeasure, and finally the girls stepped through a gap in some bushes, doubling with laughter, and gave us back our clothes.
oh boy, it was time for another beer.